June 2nd 2004
Yesterday, I went to Institute (scripture study) for the first time in almost four years. I have to say that I was very glad I went. I was spiritually uplifted, and that has not happened in a long time, well... not to that point of making me want to make certain changes in my life. Here are some quotes from the talks that we studied last night that made me go: Preach on, brother, preach on!
"Choices" - President James E. Faust
"In this life we have to make many choices. some are important choices. Some are not."
- I guess I have to remember that. Sometimes, I feel like all the choices I make are equally important. It's as if my whole life depended on every single decision I make. That is the reason why I stress out all the time. At least I feel like am better at figuring out what is important that some other people. I try to remember that and it makes me feel a little better.
"Some choices present good opportunities no matter which road we take."
- But in order for me to remember this fact, I have to rely on my Heavenly Father. I need to have more faith so that I can find peace in him. I also have to have more trust in myself and my ability to make sound and inspired decisions. For this, I need to keep myself worthy of inspiration.
"It takes a certain kind of courage to stand back rather that leaping forward foolishly allowing someone else to make our choices for us. We can more readily take firm stands when we have a clear idea of our identity as [daughters] of God."
- I need to better understand my divine and earthly heritages. By seeking to know who I am, and what I want to become, I can better face challenges that lie ahead of me. I heard a quote from C.S. Lewis in Mere Christianity that lead me to conclude that we need to know what we are made of to better go through adversity, and we go through adversity to better know what we are made of. It makes sense! I mean how much easier would life be if we only knew ourselves better? I feel that if I could remember that I am a daughter of God, that He loves me, and that He will never forsake me or lead me astray, then it would be easier for me to make the right choices and to have more confidence in them.
If I knew my earthly attributes a little better, I could better see my weaknesses and my strengths. I would be more attentive to my behavior and my environment. If I knew all this and kept this in mind, how easier would my challenges be. And the other part of the conclusion is true. Sometimes we don't know what we are made of until the storm is over and we have made it through. In holding on to the bar, we can know how strong the wind of the storm was, and hence how strong we were to survive through it. We also can know how submissive, humble, we are because at some point, only humility to ask for help from our Heavenly Father can help us make it through the hard times. KNOWING WHO WE ARE!
I think that is the biggest threat that I bring to the people that I meet. Because I constantly try to better know myself, I tend to want others to know themselves. This process is hard, not only because it is an ongoing process: as soon as we grasp one aspect of who we are another part changes, or as soon as we know who we are, we try to better ourselves and, therefore, change. No, the process is hard also because we realize that there is a very fragile certainty in the way we do the things we do. The rational behind our behaviors and our decisions is weakened when were realize how little we know about ourselves. Natural men (and women) need to to be justified in all things. Uncertainty is threatening, therefore, we pretend to know or understand principles that we often don't even comprehend. Not knowing ourselves is scary, because it forces us to reevaluate ourselves, or values, and our decisions. And that, in itself, is very humbling, sometimes, painfully humbling.
Now, when we have faith, we can decide to rely on the only rock we know. Or we can decide to be paralyzed by this uncertainty and refuse to grow. I think most people refuse to acknowledge the fact that they don’t know themselves enough in order to keep moving. I my opinion, it is a tragedy because by doing so, they do not allow themselves to grow and develop to our full potential.
"Some of our important choices have a time line. If we delay a decision, the opportunity is gone forever. Sometimes our doubts keep us from making a choice that involves change. Thus an opportunity may be missed. As someone said 'When you have to make a choice, and you don't make it, that in itself is a choice.'"
- This quote speaks for itself. I have found that people hesitate in making decisions that would involve change, To go back to what I was saying earlier, how hard would it be to make changes when we don't even know who/where we are, thus the importance of knowing ourselves. It is much easier to get to a destination when we know where we are leaving from...
"Learning by experience has value, but the "school of hard knocks" is deserving of its name. Progression comes faster and easier by learning from our parents, those who love us, and our teachers. We can also learn from the mistakes of others, observing the consequences of their wrong choices."
- I wish I had done that more often in the past. But if there is one thing that I have learned from Dad recently is that life in itself is very simple, but we sometimes make it more complicated that it needs to be. For instance, one day we might be faces with a decision to make. The decision involves two choices. Now it doesn't matter whether we cry, yell, stomp our feet (while it might make us feel better), wait, or act: one way or another, at the end of the day, most of the time, we will remain with the same two options we had at the beginning. The crying, yelling, stomping of feet or waiting make sometimes blind us or take us away from the real situation, and therefore make things more complicated. In reality, while the decision might be hard to make, the situation in itself is simple: A or B.
Now, I acknowledge the importance of the possible repercussions of choosing to pick A or B. But it does not change that we only have A or B to choose from. Once we try to know ourselves and our environment, we tend to realize that things are not all that bad. I don’t know. I like to think that the more I realize and comprehend that the choices has to be made, no matter what, and that God is by my side to support my already existing strength, the easier it is for me to make the choice.
"To make an intelligent decision, we need to evaluate all available facts on both sides of an issue. But that's not enough. Making the correct decisions involves prayer and inspiration."
