As I undertake life, geared up with my inadequacies, I search my soul in order to find myself.
Yesterday was my birthday... I made myself my own birthday dinner and went to bed early listening to the song "Oh Well" by Boyz II Men... on repeat. For my birthday present I received four renditions of "Happy Birthday": one by Father, one by Mother, one by Sister-Brother, and one my Brother-Sister-Brother (I forced the other Brother to sing it). Then, I went to bed depressed because I just wanted to be home with my family. "Oh well, maybe tomorrow..."
"Back in the day
When I was young
I'm not a kid anymore
But some days, I sit
And wish I was a kid again..."
...so I could go to the gym without crying and feeling sorry for myself.
Today, Ebony woke me up from my peaceful sleep (and NO. I didn't shoot her), to ask me if I wanted to go work out. Now, as most you know, I haven't gone to a gym in over 2 years. I have shamelessly paid for my last year of membership at Gold's Gym without going once! The price to pay for laziness. For those who have known me for a long time, you remember that there was a time where I was at the gym 3-4 times a week and I could squat more than some of the guys that would go work out me (back in the day).
Those days are long gone, and today I went to the gym for 35 minutes and wanted to die. First of all, I tried to get on the bike... That was too hard after 3 minutes. Then I decided to get on the Elliptical... I stayed there for a whole 22 minutes!!! (I had to drop the incline to 1 and the resistance to 7). I was sweating like never before! I mean "back in the day", I use to run cross-country for miles without breaking a sweat!!! Today, I was so dizzy when I got off that machine of HELL, that I had to go sit by the AC while Ebony completed her 30 minutes on the machine right next to me.
Then, I decided to attack the weights... They attacked me!!! I struggled to complete my repetitions while Ebony was saying: "Man! You arms got so little. I remember they used to be so big and ripped." That's when "I sat and wished I was kid again." I didn't let Ebony stretch. I told her that we could do that at home. I needed food and water. I had just worked out 250 calories out my body. I needed to replenish the supplies. So as soon as we got home, I had a 140-calorie yogurt and 300 calories worth of Doritos.
I was so tired that I had to take a break, even from eating... I think that now I'm ready to go take a shower...
1. Everytime I watch the news, I hear about innocent kids or parents caught in the crossfire of people shooting each other.
2. People don't know how to use their blinker.
3. People think that because they are driving a Cadillac, they can perform 3-point u-turns and block the whole street for over 10 minutes.
4. We all live and work close to the most hated person in the world: The current US President.
5. They already tried to crash a few planes into this city... They will try again.
6. Last but not least: Cicadas (2"long flying roaches with red eyes) have invaded the city for the first time in 17 years. There are millions and millions of them in the region. They is NO way for anyone to remain calm when they fly right at you!!! You can imagine the rest: people falling off their bikes, kids... or grown ups running away from them, car accidents... you imagine the rest!
So I finally left UT!!! I didn't cry. I didn't sigh. I just got on my Southwest flight with my Chinese food and was ready to MOVE ON. I guess I should have shed a little tear before kissing the last four years of my life goodbye, but for some reason, I just couldn't find any reason to be sad. Now, you have to understand, moving for me is never sad: it is always the beginning of a new adventure. I've done it so many times before that if I were to be sad each time, I would have gotten a nervous breakdown a long time ago... No, I always remember those that I leave behind, but my eye is set on the things that are to come.
So, I got to the airport an hour before my flight was supposed to take off. It took me about 10 minutes to check in, and I was set to go. Regina, Alisha, and Johnson came to say goodbye (I think they were there to see if I was going to cry or something), so I hung out with them for a minute. But after a while, we all ran out of things to say. I knew I was going to see these people in a few months. I needed to get on my flight, so I hugged everyone and took off.
Now, because I have a foreign ID, I always get "randomly" chosen for an extensive search... Now, I wore the most comfortable pants to fly in, but worse to go through security: my belt is attached to my pants, and you can't remove it. So of course, when I went through the metal detector: bip, bip, bip!!! Up to this point, no problem.
So, of course they take me to the side and make me stand on this little thing, were I have to let them make sure that I don't have a weapon on me... Well, all was fine until the lady that was passing the metal detector around me got to my chest area: bip, bip, bip. So she passed it again and again in front of my chest, while giggling. I was annoyed at that point. So she asks me if I'm wearing an underwire... I just rolled my eyes and said yes. NOW without telling me, she joined her hands as if she was going to pray and put some pressure right between my boobs... Now, I was like: hey! What are you doing? She said that she had to make sure that it was an underwire! Dang! Thanks for asking! So I let her check for a minute.
Then she passed the metal detector in front my chest again, and giggled again. Now I was getting mad! She then asked me again if I was wearing an underwire. I almost yelled, but I decided to remain calm, and said: Like I said 2 minutes ago: YES. So she decided to touch the wire ON my bra, therefore, touching my breast, almost cupping my boobs!!! Now I was getting PISSED OFF! I had to step back and give her the look of death as she giggled some more.
Now, mind you, at the same time, two fools were emptying my carry-ons. So after this trauma, they gave me by bags and my shoes back, and told me that I could buckle my belt, and they let me go. My luggage and I, feeling violated to the highest point, thanked the gods that we were leaving this place, because I was about to file a report for aggravated sexual assault!
You know, if she wanted to know if they were real, she could have asked!
Today, I decided to start something new: a blog. (Thanks Carrie for the idea). I figured that it would be a pretty easy way to keep my dear friends updated with my crazy life. So I decided to start with something really easy: How well do you know Yolande... a.k.a. Landy. Many of my friends have told be that I am hard to figure out. On the other hand, I have many other friends who think that they know me so well that they have stopped trying to know me better. So this morning, I posted a quiz about myself. So if you want to take it, feel free. http://connect.tickle.com/test.html?id=pWWSNrdDfbq25Bil&
So far, I have received some emails of frustrated people who think that I have lied on my quiz. I DID NOT LIE. For instance, Micah says that my favorite ice cream is vanilla because I have dated a lot of white men... Now, I think Micah knows something that I don't: the relationship between one's favorite ice cream and the type of men/women one dates. Micah fails to recognize that I have lived in Utah (a.k.a. 95%-white-people land) for over four years... I didn't have much choice. In reality, my favorite ice cream is Rocky Road. So if Micah's theory is true, you do the math... I have dated men from many lands...
Anyway. Hope you come visit my Blog once in a while, and that you write me some feedback, once in a while.
One love!
From the simplest to the most complicated ends of the spectrum, depending on the day, you will find me.
