To be, or not to be... myself

As I undertake life, geared up with my inadequacies, I search my soul in order to find myself.

Tuesday, September 28, 2004

Shaneekwa was about to be put to sleep...

For those who were wondering what happened with Shaneekwa, that piece of work... Well, she was protected by the ethical laws of academia which made it impossible for me to knock her out when I had the chance to today.

Shaneekwa made a scene at the end of class today. Only at the end of the class, because the other students started to roll their eyes when she started complaining at the beginning of class. I told her to come see me after class. I don't know how I managed not to slap her.
I really did all I could to remain calm, and I did a pretty good job at it. Can you believe that this fool had the nerves to YELL at me. Yelling at me like we were members of the same family. At that point, I told her: "Shaneekwa, do not yell at me. Shaneekwa, do not yell at me, Shaneekwa, do not yell at me, Shaneekwa, do NOT yell at me..." Only very few of you have seen me when I get REALLY angry. Not when I pretend to be all upset. No, when I am pissed off. To the point of repeating the same thing over and over again, just to calm myself down.... I think Aaron Alsop and Lindsay Luc have seen like that...

While, I was trying to hypnotize my anger, Shaneekwa was STILL yelling at me, telling that I was an unprofessional professor, because I hadn't taken the time to sit with her to read the syllabus. I had to do the best not to curse... I simply smiled and asked her if it was her first semester in college. She said, still yelling,: "NO, it's not my first semester in college."
- What do you want me to do, Shaneekwa? Read the whole thing with you?
- Well, no since I read it this weekend. Too late for that.

- I don't mean to be mean or anything, but since when is it my responsibility to sit down and read the syllabus with you? Since when do I have to not collect homework because you just don't have it? Do you understand that getting the materiel for class is YOUR responsibility? I understand that you are a commuter, but so is half the people of both classes I teach. I understand that you live with your grandma and that you don't have the internet. I understand that you feel like you don't have the money to buy the workbook. But at the end of the day, what do you want me to do? The requirements are the same for everyone, and you had enough time before that assignment was due to inform me of your situation."

But she was not listening... She kept yelling. Now, mind you, the whole time, I was still smiling, and keeping my cool. But, because she was still trying to swallow me with her big mouth (and now, this is coming from me, so you can only imagine), I had to put her back in her place for a minute: "Shaneekwa, I am very polite and calm with you, while you are persisting on yelling at me. Let me remind you, in case you had forgotten, that I am neither your mother, nor your little sister. I am not your friend. I am your professor. By the tone of my voice and my simple explanations, we can still assume that I respect you. Therefore, you will give me the respect I deserve." She answered: "I know you ain't my mom. And YOU will respect me, by providing me the help I want." That's when I said: "You need to go complain to the dean, because I no longer have time for you. I had office hours this morning"

She kept yelling as she walked out of class, and I was shaking of anger. I had another class to teach in 15 minutes, and I had no clue how to calm down. Now, anyone looking at me would not have guessed how PISSED I was, because I was still smiling. I said a few curse words, that I will not list, but I was still letting my pearls shine.

I ran up to my course supervisor, and she met with the student. Put her back in her place, but was still nice enough to make copies of her own manual (first and second chapters) for that student. Oh! Did I forget to mention to you that I had emailed her to offer to lend her my workbook so she could make copies?

But you know what is the best part of the story??? At the end of the day, I am still her teacher, and she still has to deal with me twice a week. And the VERY best part is that I am STILL grading her assignment.

Shaneekwa was almost put to sleep today, but I hope she realizes that has made the worse mistake so far: making me unwilling to help, and alienating herself from the other students. This is going to be a long semester for Shaneekwa and myself... But I still run the show, which is more than we can say about poor, poor, ignorant Shaneekwa.

Perhaps, it would be better for her to sleep in class, because I don't foresee any good grade coming out of that situation... Anyway... her test was a good proof. Since 15% is participation: she is never ready, and never has her homework done, and... Oh yeah! She made the damning mistake of yelling at me... I ran into the Dean after my second class, he was laughing at the whole thing, and said: "So I heard Professor Mullen-Hohl made some copies for her... That girl is lucky she wasn't dealing with me."

Since I go to a Catholic school, and can say: "Virgin Marie, pray for her."

Saturday, September 25, 2004

While she was sleeping

Well, well, I know it's been a while, but believe it or not, too many things happen in my life for me to be able to write them down all the time. I will skip the details on what happened between me waiting and me being where I am, doing what I am doing, with the people I am doing it with. Today, I just want to share a story of one of my students. Teaching at BYU was sometimes challenging, but it was never hard to keep my cool. On the other hand, teaching at Seton Hall is sometimes harder on my temper... While that girl is sleeping...

She is not literally sleeping, she just doesn't listen and then blames you for it. We are going to call this young lady Shaneekwa... Because she has the bad ass attitude of a Shaneekwa. For the past couple of weeks, I have been reminding my students to bring their workbooks to class everyday, because I could randomly ask them to turn in the exercises that are due for that day. I've also been telling them to come prepared to class. I've been telling them that they need a study buddy, that way if they missed class or any information, they can always rely on that partner. I've made sure that they understood that if they were going to miss class, they needed to email me the reason of their absence otherwise it would be considered as an unexplained absence. Bottom line, I kept repeating the same thing over and over again, while Shaneekwa was sleeping.

On Tuesday, I decided to be nice and announced that since they were going to have a chapter test on Thursday, I was going to be pick up the workbooks that day before the quiz. I said that I would only accept the workbooks at the beginning of class. I made that announcement twice, while Shaneekwa was sleeping. Thursday came, and I picked up all the workbook exercises, except those of Shaneekwa. She looked at me and said: "I ain't got a workbook. I put in the order at the bookstore, but it ain't there yet." I looked at her, a little puzzled, and said: "Ok." And I walked away from her.

While the rest of the class was taking their tests, Shaneekwa decided to confront me about her workbook situation, asking: "So, is that workbook thing gonna work against me?" At that point I was no longer puzzled, I was trying to figure out how to answer without being rude. I simply said :"Yes," and went back to my reading. But then she said:"Why? It ain't my fault if I ain't got the workbook. It's the bookstore's fault." The other students, at that point started to get distracted away from their tests into Shaneekwa's drama.

I explained to Shaneekwa that I had been announcing the fact that she needed to get her exercises done before every class. I had made the announcement on Tuesday that I would be picking up the workbooks before the test. Shaneekwa insisted that she had added the class late and that she had missed most of the announcements. I calmly insisted, with all the diplomacy in the world that I had given her a syllabus and that ALL the announcements were on the document. That's when Shaneekwa gave me a puzzled look and said: "The syllabus? Do I have a syllabus?" And I said: "Shaneekwa, you added the class a week late and I didn't have an extra syllabus to give you, so I gave you my own copy. YES, you have a syllabus." That's when she had the nerves to tell me that because she has added her classes SO late, she hadn't had time to read her syllabus and that I should have TOLD her the information. At that point, half of the students were done with their tests and were shaking their heads at Shaneekwa, and I was trying to remain calm.

I told Shaneekwa that it was her responsibility to read her syllabus, and that she should have come at the beginning of the semester to tell me about her situation and that she should have had a study buddy help her make copies. The Shaneekwa turned bitchy on me and says: "What you don't understand, that I've been killing myself to tell you, is I don't know nobody and in the class, and you don't understand that..." That's when I tuned out! I was looking her at lips moving, but I wasn't listening to a word of what she was saying. When I saw that she was done, I said: "Sorry, there is nothing I can do. You're an adult and a college student. Go read you syllabus. All this just shoes me that in the past 3 weeks, you haven't been doing your homework, and that is not working in your favor." She rolled her eyes at me, finished her test and stormed out, mumbling the same way I used to when my mom would tell me off when I was younger.

What was I supposed to do, since, while everybody else got the 411, she was sleeping? I have a couple of students who are still waiting for their workbooks, but they made copies. I even had a student who added the class the Tuesday I made the announcement, but for some reason, she managed to complete all her exercises...

Poor Shaneekwa. She doesn't know who she is messing with... Poor sleepy Shaneekwa